More Misunderstandings
by Star582
Summary: It's challenging enough to find you're speaking slightly different versions of the same language but even more so when you're speaking to the opposite sex.


Again, this is based upon a convo with Sesheta about the misunderstandings that occur around slang and in this case, Aussie slang. After exploring different meanings to words like thong (Aussie flip flops/American underwear), we decided to expand our earlier scenario to imagine what it would be like to have someone try to chat Shepard up. Again, I've posted it, but I wouldn't have been able to write it, nor would it have been nearly as much fun without Sesh's input and of course, her translations (dictionary follows)!

**More Misunderstandings**

The hot sand beneath her feet as well as the slight sting of sunburn across her shoulders provided greater incentive to Tris to hurry up and get inside. She began to run, cursing softly and picking her feet up smartly as she tried to avoid placing them on the ground for any longer than strictly necessary. Kaidan broke into an easy stride beside her. He was more comfortable in the heat and, unlike Tris, had been smart enough to wear shoes when they'd headed out to swim and body surf.

Upon reaching shade, she threw herself onto the nearest bench, splashing cool liquid from her water bottle onto the soles of her feet. Kaidan looked at her sympathetically. "Pretty warm out here, huh?"

"Blazing. I thought my feet were going to melt. Wish I'd worn sandals."

He bit back his "I told so," saying instead, "It's only a short ways to our room. Can you make it or do I need to carry you?

"Tempting, but I think I can do it." Tris rose to her feet. "C'mon."

A flashing light on the in-room terminal greeted them. Tris went over and tapped in the room code. "Message for you. From Anderson."

Kaidan groaned. "Anderson knows I'm on leave. This had better be pretty bloody important." He read the message quickly and then turned to grimace at Tris. "I hate to do this to you…_to us_, but I'm going to have to answer. It may take a while." He glanced at the terminal again, tapped a couple of keys so that the message disappeared, then turned and looked at her expectantly.

She stiffened with annoyance at the reminder that regardless of her recent activities, she was still considered an outsider at best and possibly even a traitor by the Alliance. "Well," she snapped, "Clearly I'm in the way!" She stomped into the bathroom intending to slam the door only to find Kaidan right behind her.

"Look, you know if you want to come back to the Alliance, I'll talk with Anderson and Admiral Hackett on your behalf. And if you want to continue on your own, well, I'll find a way to support you. But right now I've got to keep things separate; maintain credibility. " He bent down to kiss her gently. "Let it go for now. Please."

She looked at him for a moment, trying to stay mad and failing. _Damn those puppy eyes. How does he __**do**__ that? "_Alright. Tell you what. I'll change and go sit in the lounge for awhile. Cool off. Have a drink. You come a little later and take me to dinner. Deal?"

He drew her in for another kiss. "Deal."

She pushed him away and began stripping off her clothes while Kaidan watched, his expression appreciative. She winked at him. "See something you like, marine?"

"Very much so. In fact, I think I'll join you."

She shook her head, grinning. They'd spent most of their first few days at _Paradiso Cielo_ in their room. "Haven't had enough then?

He chuckled, "Shepard. Give me a break, will ya'? I'm making up for over **two years **of deprivation here. That's a _long time_ by anyone's standards!"

* * *

The sun was dropping towards the horizon by the time Tris made her way to the Paradiso's Starlight lounge. She stopped for a moment to smooth the skirt of her sleek black dress before entering a room noisy with the usual bar sounds of dance music and conversation. Looking around, she noticed the unequal mix of men and women. In her experience, bars like this would normally have the men outnumbered, but New Queensland seemed to be different. She had seen only a few women, even among the resort staff. In fact, the scantily clad cocktail waitresses scurrying about the room represented the largest number of females she'd seen at the resort outside of tourists. She wondered whether the predominance of males was due to an influx of locals. The planet had certainly seemed well populated with them and she remembered the resort's literature calling out the fact that the Starlight Lounge provided guests "with local color" and "unique insights into local customs and language" as part of its manifold attractions.

A slight breeze on her left alerted Tris to the fact that the Starlight Lounge had an open air deck. Since all she wanted was a quiet drink while waiting for Kaidan, she made her way through the crowd, avoiding attempts to catch her eye. The deck was relatively empty and she soon found a table with a bonus view of both the ocean and the interior of the lounge. As she seated herself, she noticed a man standing just inside the door dressed dark trousers and a brightly colored shirt. He seemed to be looking at her but then turned as another man approached him. She indulged in a couple minutes of people watching, figuring they must be locals based upon the exchange of "Owsitgoin'maate?" and "Owareya" as well as their seeming preference for the rather strong, local ale. _Guess I can say I'm seeing all kinds of "local color" from here. _

A waiter popped out onto the deck and hustled from table to table taking drink orders. He vanished and then reappeared in very short order to carefully place a glass of wine on the table in front of her followed by two large and very fruity looking drinks.

He started to leave but she stopped him. "Hey wait a minute! Those aren't mine!" He turned, his tray of drinks slewing dangerously before coming to rest on the table top in front of her. "Wait. Don't leave those…those...fruit things here. I certainly didn't order them and I don't want them!"

He looked at her wearily and then pointed towards the two men inside the door. They waved at her but she ignored them.

"Those two blokes. They sent the drinks. Look Miss, it's a local custom. If you have a problem with it, take it up with them. I don't place the orders; I just deliver 'em." He picked up the tray and hurried away, leaving the fruity drinks on the table in front of her. She signed in annoyance before picking up her wine and turning to look out at the ocean. But her contemplation of the darkening water didn't last long. Hearing footsteps coming up behind her she turned eagerly. "Kaidan?" She broke off as she realized it was _not_ Kaiden but her two erstwhile admirers who had left their station near the door and were heading towards her.

As they neared her, the closest man, a tall, burly blonde, called out, "Owareya, luv?" He pointed at one of the fruity drinks, "Get that intaya, whydon'cha?"

His friend added, "Drink up luv. You look as dry as a dead dingo's donger. A sheila as good looking as you shouldn't be drinking on your Pat Malone."

"Thanks but I'm already drinking wine. I don't mix my drinks. Appreciate the thought though."

He grinned cheekily, "If ya don't fancy the drink, p'rhaps you'd like to try an Aussie kiss. It's just like a French kiss, but down under." He glanced at her meaningfully.

Tris took a deep breath. _What __**is **__it with this place? Either I don't understand a word they're saying or I understand it all too well. _She stared at him coldly. The second man gave her a toothy grin before turning to his friend, "I don't think she appreciates ya, Mac. She probbly reckons you're about as useful as tits on a bull."

"Yer right, Sam. She clearly doesn't appreciate me. _Yet._ But she will. She'll be grinning like a shot fox by the time I'm done." Tris gave Mac a pained smile at this pronouncement. Mac, taking this as encouragement, added, "See? I can **tell** that she wants me. "

Tris bit her tongue. _Yeah, I _**_want _**_you. I ****__want __you to leave. _She smiled coolly. "Gentlemen. Did you lose something? Your drinks perhaps?" She gestured toward the fruity drinks in front of her.

"Those are for you. Why don't you get a dog up ya? It's bound to set you straight," Mac replied.

_Get a dog up ya?_ _What __**was**__ it with this planet's inhabitants and their constant speculation on her sex life? _She shot a dirty look at Mac. "If that meant what I think it did, you had better start running now or I _**will **_hurt you_."_

He laughed as if she'd been flirting with him. "You know what I reckon your problem is luv? You need a good root. I'm as fit as a Mallee bull so she'll be right."

His friend agreed, "Yeh, Mac here knows how to please a woman. "

"Do you now. Well then, **please** leave me alone." _Where __**is**__ Kaidan? That call to Anderson is taking a hell of a long time. _

"Fair dinkum luv, don't get your knickers in a knot."

When she'd first come into the lounge, she'd made a conscious decision to be entertained regardless of the manner in which entertainment presented itself. Still, the cheesy lines and utter disregard for her response was getting old. Tris took a deep breath. _Attitude, girl. You came here to enjoy yourself. _The situation _was _rather funny and she guessed that she probably did need to loosen up a bit although not to the extent to which "Mac" seemed to be hoping. "Look," she said, "You're right. I guess that while I appreciate the thought, your approach is all wrong. It may work on the local women, but it…" She stopped before the unfortunate words '_rubs me the wrong way' _came out of her mouth. "Uh anyway, it doesn't work for me."

"Roight. I get it, luv. You fancy tourist sheilas like it all frilly flowers and soft words."

"I have to admit a few soft words helps. But it's more about us – you and I- getting to know each other a little bit socially before we start getting to know each other …er horizontally. You could, you know, maybe start off with something like, "Hi, I'm Mac, what's your name? Perhaps followed by oh, I dunno - asking me where I'm from, how I like it here, if I'd like to dance. You know. Conversation."

Mac rolled his eyes. "Sheesh, I thought you tourist sheilas came here for uh..._local flavor._" He glanced downwards to ensure his meaning was clear and began to guffaw heartily at his own joke. Sam joined in.

"Maybe. But I'm telling you that the _local flavor_ is giving this _sheila_ heartburn about now. I dunno about you, but I was always taught that when something doesn't work, _try something new." _She gave both men a sweet smile before standing up and leaning against the table suggestively, "Surely one of you guys is willing to try _something new?"  
_  
"Alroight luv, I'm game. " Mac winked at her, "Hi, my name is Mac. Haven't seen you around here before. What's _your_ name and where are you from?"

Just then, Kaidan appeared at her elbow. Even dressed in civilian clothes his military bearing was evident and the two men straightened almost unconsciously in response. Although she hadn't seen him approach it was clear from the smirk on his face that he'd overhead the last couple minutes of her conversation with Mac.

Giving her a rather wolfish grin, he said in what was clearly his best Q-lander accent, "Well hello luv, wanna root?"

Mac and Sam began snickering. "You've got buckley's of cracking on to that one mate. This sheila's up herself I reckon. I think she wants to chew the fat for a while first."

Reaching up, Tris touched Kaidan's check before sliding her hand down his face and onto his shoulder. "Will you buy me dinner first, handsome?"

His grin broadened. "Of course, luv. As long as you're dessert!" He slid a possessive arm around her waist.

"Then you're on, marine!"

She glanced over at Mac as they began walking away, "Maybe next time, big fella. Then again, maybe _not_."

"Well I'll be buggered" he said to his mate as they watched her walk away.

_**

* * *

**__**Aussie-American Dictionary**_

_Most Australian words or phrases have more than one meaning depending on how they are used in a sentence and what inflections are added to the words._

_We also have a habit of stringing words together and dropping letters so 'have a good weekend' becomes 'aveagoodweekend._

_Also, depending on what State or region you're in words can change. For example, a swimming costume can be called a cozzie, swimmers, togs, or bathers. Pronunciation can change too. In Sydney the word 'castle' is pronounced 'carsel', whereas in Victoria it is pronounced 'cassel'_

_Rhyming slang is one of the few occasions where we actually add words rather than shortening them. A bag of fruit is a suit, Reg Grundies or just grundies are underwear or undies, Pat Malone means you are on your own, and a Noah's ark is a shark._

_**As useful as tits on a bull**__ - useless_

_**Blokes**__ – men , guys_

_**Buckley's**__ – no chance _

_**Chew the fat**__ – chat_

_**Crack onto**__ – pick up, flirt, make a move on someone, hit on_

_**Don't get your knickers in a knot**__ – don't get upset_

_**Dry as a dead dingo's donger**__ – very dry_

_**Fit as a Mallee bull**__ – very fit and strong_

_**Grinning like a shot fox**__ – very satisfied, smug, happy_

_**Having a lend of someone**__ – to have someone on_

_**I'll be buggered**__ - exclamation of surprise_

_**Pat Malone**__ – rhyming slang for alone or on your own_

_**Reckon**__ – think_

_**She'll be right**__ – it will be fine_

_**Up yourself/herself/himself**__ – thinks they are better than everyone else, also can be "she's got tickets on herself"_


End file.
